How to tell whether you are in the right relationship, according to the month you were born

In my method, I also look at the month of birth as an indicator of how a person is called to take part in the world around them. In other words: what needs to exist more in your life when your energy is working properly.

That is why, when I look at a relationship, I am not only interested in the question “does he or she love me?”

I am just as interested in: “Who have I become since I have been with this person?”

Because the right partner should not live your destiny for you. But nor should they become the reason you give it up.

JANUARY — you should become stronger, not more dependent

Those born in January need to feel that they can build, decide and lead their own life. The right relationship matures them. It makes them more decisive, more disciplined, more able to turn an idea into reality.

If you were born in January, look at yourself before and after this relationship.

Have you become surer of your decisions? Have you built something? Do you have more autonomy? Does your partner respect your direction, or do you constantly have to ask emotional permission for what you want to do?

In the wrong relationship, exactly the opposite can appear: you begin to doubt yourself, abandon projects, postpone decisions, and end up depending on the other person's approval.

The good sign for January is simple: “Beside you I did not lose my power. I learned to use it better.”

FEBRUARY — the relationship should create bonds, not emotional chaos

February speaks of sensitivity, cooperation, closeness and the ability to build bridges between people.

In the right relationship, a person born in February becomes more emotionally balanced. They learn to communicate, to cooperate, and to create healthy relationships without abandoning themselves.

The wrong partner can turn that sensitivity into hypervigilance: “What's wrong with them? What did I do? Do they still love me?”

And then all the energy that should have gone into relationships, collaboration and connection is spent managing the instability of the couple.

February's question is: “Does my relationship develop my capacity to love, or does it force me permanently to survive emotionally?”

MARCH — you should find your voice, not begin to go quiet

March needs expression.

Ideas. Communication. Creativity. Humour. Company. Curiosity.

Someone born in March who is in a good relationship usually begins to express themselves more freely. They have ideas, they speak, they create, they meet people, they experiment.

The wrong relationship can produce self-censorship. They cannot say what they feel; they hold back so as not to disturb, or fear creating conflicts over who is in charge.

And little by little, the person who was meant to communicate with the world begins to shrink.

For March, a healthy relationship says: “With you I can be myself without lowering my voice so as not to bother you.”

APRIL — you should build stability, not live in permanent crisis

April asks for structure, responsibility and concrete results.

That is why one of the most important clues for this month is to look at what you have built together.

I do not mean only money or property. I mean order, plans, security, healthy habits, continuity.

If after years of relationship everything is improvisation, promises, arguments, reconciliation and chaos again, your energy is being spent putting out fires instead of building.

The right partner does not have to build for you. They have to be able to build with you.

MAY — you should expand, not feel captive

May needs movement, experience, change and freedom.

That does not mean an inability to commit.

It means the right relationship should not become a prison.

Someone born in May should be discovering things, travelling, experimenting, meeting people, daring.

In an unbalanced relationship, control can appear: where are you going, who are you talking to, why do you want that, why do you need change?

And the person begins to confuse faithfulness with giving up their inner freedom.

The essential question is: “Does this love give me roots I can set out into the world from, or walls I am no longer allowed to cross?”

JUNE — you should learn mature love, not permanent sacrifice

June is strongly connected, symbolically, to care, family, emotional responsibility and harmony.

But there is an extraordinary trap here: believing that love means permanently repairing someone else's life.

In a healthy relationship, someone born in June can create warmth, beauty, family and the feeling of home, without becoming everybody's rescuer.

In the wrong relationship they end up giving continuously: understanding, forgiving, repairing, supporting, explaining, sacrificing, or accepting a great deal of insult and betrayal.

Until they notice that there are two people in the relationship, but only one keeping it alive.

For June the question is: “Am I loved, or am I merely needed?” When you ask that honestly, what lies beneath your awareness will answer very clearly, through your choices and your experiences.

JULY — you should learn depth and autonomy, not loneliness within a couple

If you were born in July, one of the clearest signs that the relationship is not good for you is to notice how many responsibilities you have ended up carrying alone.

I say this because people born in July already tend to take family very seriously. Being in the energy of Cancer, they get involved, they care, they try to hold people together, and often take on things that come from the family and the wider bloodline. They are the ones who wonder whether their parents are all right, whether everything is in order at home, whether their loved ones need something. Sometimes they do this without anyone asking.

But when a partner appears beside them who does not take part, things quickly become complicated. Because a person born in July does not immediately say “I can't do this any more”. First they try to compensate. If the other does not do it, they do. If the other does not take care of it, they do. If a problem appears in the family, they are the ones looking for the solution.

And so they can end up in a relationship in which they are married, yet live almost like someone alone.

They have a partner, but they run the household. They think about the children. They solve the family's problems. They help everyone else. They remember what needs doing. And on top of all that, they may also carry the responsibilities of their parents, of the family they come from, perhaps even old problems no one ever resolved.

This is where the imbalance appears.

Because the right relationship for someone born in July does not mean someone arriving to take all their responsibilities away. I do not think they would even want that. But they need to feel that there is someone else beside them holding the home, the family and the life together with them.

AUGUST — the relationship should increase your power to manifest

August speaks of authority, achievement, ambition, influence and a mature relationship with the material world.

So here I would look very closely at concrete development.

Since you have been with this person, have you grown or shrunk?

Have you become more ambitious? More financially responsible? Do you have the courage to negotiate, to lead, to ask for what you deserve?

Or have you begun to fear success, because your success creates conflict in the couple?

An unsuitable partner can compete with you in exactly the place where they should be supporting you.

For August, mature love says: you do not have to become smaller so that I can feel bigger. This is the secret of many toxic, narcissistic relationships. One partner feels better, cleverer, more impressive than the other, and makes them feel inferior. Repairing the relationship is simple: valuing the person for who they are, with their good and their bad.

SEPTEMBER — you should use your value for the world, not permanently raise an adult

September carries the energy of usefulness, responsibility and contribution.

These people can have an extraordinary capacity to organise, educate, help and improve.

And that is exactly where the danger appears.

The partner can become their “project”. And when that happens it is not quite all right — the relationship turns into something closer to therapy.

They educate them. Motivate them. Explain to them. Lift them. Solve their problems. Wait for them to grow up.

And one day they realise the energy that should have been offered to the world was invested almost entirely in raising a single adult.

The question for September is extraordinarily important: am I building alongside a partner, or raising a person who refuses to grow up on their own?

OCTOBER — you should stay connected to the world

If you were born in October, I would look very closely at the life you had before you entered this relationship, and the life you have now.

I do not mean money, a house, or the things you built together. I mean you, as a person.

How many people are still around you? Do you still have your friends? Do you still go out? Do you still feel like meeting people? Is that part of you still there — the one who enjoyed talking, being among people, taking part in events, organising something, gathering people around?

Because October has a great deal to do with the relationship with others. It is also the energy of Libra, and this person did not come here to live in isolation. They need exchange, people, communication, beauty around them, the sense of belonging to a world larger than their own home.

And this is exactly where the wrong relationship can do great harm, without there necessarily being a moment when you say: “right, from today I have cut myself off.”

Most of the time it does not happen that way.

It happens little by little.

At first, perhaps your partner does not like one particular friend of yours. And perhaps they are even right. Then they do not like someone else. Then they say your family interferes too much. When you want to go somewhere, you feel the atmosphere at home change. They do not exactly forbid you to leave, but you know that when you come back there will be a discussion, a coldness, an ironic remark, or that question: “Did you really have to go?”

And at some point you begin refusing invitations yourself.

Not because you no longer want those people in your life, but because you no longer have the appetite for what follows.

This is the dangerous part, because you can have the impression that you chose to withdraw. Except that if you look back, you realise you were not like this before.

Perhaps before, you were the one who called first. You made the plans. You gathered people. You felt like going out, seeing places, dressing well, taking part in something. There was life around you.

After a few years in the wrong relationship you can end up exactly the opposite: work, home, partner, perhaps children, and nothing else.

In the right relationship, your partner does not have to adore every friend you have. Nor do you have to love all of theirs. That is normal. But there is respect for the fact that each of you came into the relationship with a life, with people, with connections and with an identity of your own. In fact, if the relationship is good, your world often begins to grow.

NOVEMBER — passion should be turned into strength, not into toxic addiction

November is an intense month.

Here we have depth, magnetism, sexuality, transformation and the relationship with power.

The right relationship can turn that intensity into courage, creation, intimacy and deep growth.

The wrong one can turn it into control, jealousy, obsession, power games and emotional wars.

And here a distinction must be made that very many people do not make: intensity is not automatically love.

If you were born in November, I would look very closely at what is happening with sexuality in your relationship. For you, physical closeness is not a detail you can simply remove from the equation and say: “otherwise we get on well, so it's fine.” November carries the energy of Scorpio, and here we have attraction, magnetism, desire, intimacy — and that need to feel that something between two people is still alive.

Of course, in a long relationship libido does not stay permanently at the intensity of the beginning. There are periods when people are tired, stressed, dealing with problems, and sexual closeness can decrease. I am not speaking about a harder week or month.

I would ask myself what happens when the absence of desire becomes the new normal.

If you used to want each other and now one of you constantly avoids closeness, no longer initiates anything, the magnetism is gone, and months or even years have passed in which you behave more like flatmates — for someone born in November that is a very important signal.

For November there can also be the opposite extreme.

There is a great deal of sex, the attraction is enormous, you separate and reconcile, you argue terribly and then passion brings you back together. And precisely because the attraction is so strong, you can end up saying: “I have never felt anything like this with anyone, so this must be my person.”

Not necessarily.

You can have extraordinary sexual chemistry with someone whose relationship, in every other respect, is destroying you.

DECEMBER — you should widen your world, not live permanently on the defensive

December needs meaning, expansion, vision and experiences that widen the perspective on life.

In the right relationship, plans appear.

Travel. Learning. Projects. A larger view of the future.

Your partner does not have to think identically, but the relationship has to allow expansion.

When the relationship is deeply unbalanced, a person can begin to function mainly defensively. All the energy goes into the problems of the couple.

And if you have read this far, I do not want you to be left only with the question: “Am I in the right relationship or not?”

What matters more is beginning to understand why you chose certain relationships, why you stayed in them, what you learned about yourself, and above all what you no longer want to repeat.

I believe one of the best investments we can make in life is the investment in ourselves. We can lose money and make it again. We can change a job, a house, a city. But the years we live without knowing ourselves — choosing from the same wounds and repeating the same patterns — no one gives back to us.

That is why I created my courses and programmes. Not so that I can tell you who to stay with or who to leave, but so that you begin to understand yourself well enough that you no longer need someone else deciding what is good for your life.

Numerology, astrology and the instruments I use should not take away our power to choose. On the contrary. They should help us see more clearly what our emotions sometimes prevent us from seeing.

Invest in yourself. In knowing yourself. In your healing. In your education. In your capacity to choose more consciously. Because when you change, so do the people you allow into your life, the limits you set, and the way you permit yourself to be loved.

And if this article made you think about your own relationship, share it. It may reach exactly the person who needs, today, to ask themselves a question they have been postponing for a very long time.

And if you feel you want to go deeper than an article, I look forward to seeing you in my courses and programmes. There we do not only talk about “what your date of birth says”; we learn to use this information to understand our choices, our relationships, our blockages and our potential.

Because in the end you are not investing in a course.

You are investing in the person you will live with your whole life: yourself.

Andreas Adam Stavarache